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Coke [Apr. 4th, 2013|11:59 pm]
From a friend's facebook page. All I can say is, if you're going to correct me, you better be sure I'm wrong, or I'll prod you until you start calling me names and making even more ridiculous claims. And in summary, based on this sample size of one, I'd have to conclude that Southerners are ornery and don't believe in "them things you Yankees call well-researched facts."

Stuart Contreras
2 hours ago near Santa Monica ·
I need someone to coach me in Southern colloquialisms. I'll pay in PBR.

Jay Turetzky Y'all go ahead and have some Coke now (where "Coke" could be Pepsi, Mountain Dew, or even Fizzy Lifting Drink)
2 hours ago via mobile · Like · 1

Brittany McComas Um...what the hell? You date a Southern colloquialism. LOL And Jay, it's pop. Coke is a drug.
2 hours ago · Like · 1

Jay Turetzky I was talking about the South, not the Midwest. So yeah, Coke.
49 minutes ago · Edited · Like

Brittany McComas Where's your sense of humor, Mate? Cause last time I checked I grew up in the South, hence my comment to Dani, and we don't call it coke. We call it pop. Pop is the general term for carbonated drinks, where coke is coca-cola. And we call it coca-cola. Stu, are you taking notes? LOL.
43 minutes ago · Edited · Like
[nb: her post was edited to try to imply she was trying to be funny only after I'd already responded]

Jay Turetzky Oh yeah, sorry I just pulled that out of my ass. Oh wait a minute, no I didn't:

When Is A Pop Just A Soda?
We always knew that in some parts of the country a soda was called a pop (or vic...
See More

Brittany McComas Well, his map is wrong. And you're a fucktard for believing everything you read on the internet.

Jay Turetzky Well, you might be right except I've actually been to the South and heard it firsthand as well. I, however, would put much more faith in a legitimate news article on the subject than just taking somoene's word for it. Don't take it out on me just because you're ignorant of your own region's colloquialisms.

Brittany McComas Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle. You've been to the South? How sweet. Well, Honey now that you're an expert on our colloquialisms, and rely on what you deem a legitimate news article-I am so sorry for being a bit rude. Of course, there's no author. So, maybe it's one of them there blogs. And thank Baby Jesus for that Matthew Campbell and Prof. Greg Plumb of East Central University in Oklahoma. I don't know what I would have done had they not cleared that up for me. And here I thought all those people in Universities did was practice science and doctorin', and write important academic publications. Thank you!
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(no subject) [Mar. 11th, 2011|04:46 pm]
I'm graduating with my PhD in May, and I need a job!

View Jay Turetzky"s profile on LinkedIn

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Writer's Block: The kindness of strangers [Feb. 23rd, 2011|11:50 pm]

If someone insults you when you're walking down the street, what do you do?

Sing doo wah ditty ditty dum ditty doo
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EW [Dec. 4th, 2010|03:16 am]
 I just read the "Sound Bites" in Entertainment Weekly. One-liners from tv shows that aired in the past week. As usual, they quote Gloria from Modern Family, as they should. However, they also quoted Glee--Principal Sue saying to Kurt (after he gets upset that she calls him "Lady"), "I'm sorry, I genuinely thought that was your name. As an apology, I'll allow you to choose from the following nicknames: Gelfling, Porcelain, or Tickle Me Doughface." I didn't think that was funny when I saw it on the show; I just thought it was offensive. It's the kind of "humor" that confused, closeted teenagers like Karofsky would use in real life. Not the kind of humor that the obviously pro-gay rights Glee typically portrays. I didn't understand why it was used by Sue, and I understand even less why EW feels the need to cite it as one of the funniest lines of the week. In that same episode, Sue expels Karofsky for threatening Kurt's life, and then resigns her post in protest after the school board reinstates Karofsky. Sue's actions = admirable, Sue's words = despicable.
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Dodgeball playoffs [Nov. 30th, 2010|01:48 am]
 I play in a dodgeball league in West LA. I didn't play last season because I had broken a finger. I was looking around for a new team to play on, with the team that became Double Rainbow Death Squad as my number one choice. I was also offered a spot on the Jolly Dodgers (the remnants of the team that I had captained the last season that I played), and Kenny Dodgers. Their captain, Dan, was upset because some of the best players from that team had quit to form Kim Jong Illin', a new "superteam" that also took some of the best players from other teams in the league, and others who hadn't played in that league before (but played in more competitive leagues). I had the most friends on DRDS, so I joined them.

At the beginning of the season, there were 3 teams that were clearly the best: DRDS, Kim Jong Illin', and WGP (White Goodman's Package, named after Ben Stiller's character from the movie Dodgeball), who had won the previous season. WGP ended up 5th place anyway. I didn't really understand why KJI was allowed to form in the first place--this league generally tries to keep superteams like that from forming. DRDS and WGP were much more organic. That is, they were teams that had been around for awhile, losing a few players here, adding a few there. DRDS ended up sweeping the regular season, narrowly beating KJI 3 games to 2. We crushed WGP (6-0) and Kenny Dodgers (5-1). However, near the end of the season, KD added two ringers who had not played in the league this season. One of whom is a friend of mine (actually my first team captain in dodgeball). They ended up tying KJI 3-3 in the last week of the regular season, securing the #4 seed. KJI ended up #2, DRDS #1. The semifinals were tonight, and we lost to KD 3 games to 2. KD had 21 players tonight, so they had to sit one girl. Our league manager, who is also on DRDS, mentioned that they had another guy player who was left off their playoff roster. Apparently in order for the 2 ringers to play. I can't completely say that KD was wrong to bring in ringers--we had a few replacements near the end of the season as well. One girl in particular, who is a great player, replaced a girl from our team who wasn't going to be able to make the playoffs. However, the addition of those two players made KD a vastly improved team, allowing them to beat us 3-2, when we had previously beaten them 5-1. They went on to beat KJI 3-2 as well, and win the league championship. I'm glad for Dan, especially because he was able to beat the team that had split off from his own because they wanted to win at the expense of team unity. But it still leaves a sour taste in my mouth, especially that KD forced players who had been on their team the whole season to sit in order to play ringers. I had a chance to be on that team, but for all I know, they would have made me sit in the playoffs too. I'm glad I was a DR. It would have been nice to finally win a league championship, but I still think I was on the best team.
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SD [Aug. 19th, 2010|10:55 am]
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[Current Location |Los Angeles, Oceanside, San Diego]

In which I drive too far, too late, and eat too much junk food...Collapse )
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celebs I forgot to post about [Jun. 28th, 2010|12:14 am]
June 5th, I went to The Thrilling Adventure and Supernatural Suspense Hour with my roommates, Tana and Diego. We had learned of it because Nathan Fillion was going to be a guest star. It was a hilarious old-timey radio show chock-full of celebrity guest stars. The show started with a folk band called Common Rotation, featuring Adam Busch, who had a recurring role on Buffy. He's the lead singer, there's also a guitar player and a banjo man. They played a song called Litlte Hollywood Girl that was pretty funny. John DiMaggio (the voice of Bender from Futurama) joined them to beat box on the next song. I couldn't really tell what the lyrics were. Until DiMaggio, this big, rotun,d red-bearded white guy, started air-cocking a shotgun and making shotgun-shooting sounds. It was a cover of Paper Airplanes by M.I.A. Hilarious.

The rest of the show was some mock ads, and three serials. Guest stars included Nathan Fillion (as Jefferson Reid, Ace American), Linda Cardellini, Samm Levine, Dave Foley, and Martin Starr. Regulars include John DiMaggio, Autumn Reeser, and Paget Brewster.  It was well worth the $25.

Fortunately, we bought tix online ahead of time. There was a huge line of stand-bys waiting to get in, most of whom were turned away because the house was packed.
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Most Interesting Man! [Jun. 15th, 2010|10:15 pm]
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I went to the Dodgers-Angels game at Dodgers' Stadium on Sunday with my buddy who's visiting from NY. Guess who threw out the first pitch? The Most Interesting Man in the World!

Dodgers lost, 6-5. Dodger rookie pitcher Monasterios (who beat the Cards here last week, as Hawskworth and J.P. Walters pitched 4 innings and gave up 6 runs each) started, and gave up 4 runs. Interestingly, we got to see Jeff Weaver pitch against his little brother, Jered, And then the next inning, Jered pitched against Jeff. Neither got a hit.
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Celebs, including me [Jun. 4th, 2010|01:58 pm]
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Update on celebs seen.

I ran the UCLA 5K on May 23. Finished in 26.5 min. Harrison Ford was there, standing next to me before we started, in front of Ackerman! He is looking pretty old. Dakota Fanning was the celebrity host. I saw her signing autographs at the end, along with Taylor James Williams (Chris Rock from "Everybody Hates Chris") and a couple other "celebs" I didn't recognize.

The other day, Judd Apatow was awarded with the Jack Benny Award in Royce. He pointed out how smart whoever it is who created this award was. They get famous comedians to come give talks for free. The best part was that Jason Segel was there to do a Q&A with him. Apatow was talking about how he met his wife (Leslie Mann, who was in the crowd). She came to audition for a role, and when she left the room, he said she was the future Mrs. Apatow. Later, Segel and Apatow were talking about the first time they met. Apatow said he didn't remember the exact circumstances, which upset Segel, as he said he remembers it clearly, "I was thinking, 'He's the future Mr. Segel.'"

Venn diagrams have been discussed today. Here's the best one ever:

In other news, I went to Catalina with my sister and some friends. The Grad Student Association sponsored it so it was only $35 to get there. Mostly, we hiked. Pretty cool, one of those things you have to do once.

Yesterday Coach John Wooden was hospitalized. Apparently the Washington Post was reporting he was dead, though they were wrong. When I was leaving the gym (which is actually named after him), I was stopped by a reporter and cameraman by the Ackerman turnaround. The lady asked me a few questions about what I thought of Wooden and how people were reacting. I said how sad it was, and how great he was. Not just as a coach, but as a human being. Apparently I made it on the news this morning. One friend says TMZ, but I'm not sure if he's joking.
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(no subject) [Jun. 4th, 2010|01:00 am]

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